Self-Care Reimagined for the Black Man
Practicing self care is important for our Black men and their overall health. Photo courtesy of Nappy.
As a Registered Nurse and mother of two Black sons and grandmother of four young Black boys. I often wonder how our current living conditions in a Covid world filled with trauma, chaos, and tragedies affect the men in my life.
Today it is so easy to get caught up in social media overload of being constantly battered by the negative news and messages designed to make Black men and boys feel inferior and not valued. The ongoing violence towards and in our communities serves as a distraction and focuses our attention on survival and not the preservation of our best selves.
Black Men aren't always given much space to express how they feel or opportunities to reflect on how current situations affect them. I believe that the use of healing-centered practices and coping skills is necessary for their survival. Black Men self-care is unique and is a full-time job.
No other race of men in our country faces what they do daily. They are walking with targets plastered on their backs. Class or socioeconomic status doesn’t protect.
Here is my list of self-care considerations for my Black brothers and sons. You should do what works for you and listen to your own intuition. Please take what is helpful and leave what is not.
Reach Out To Trustworthy People Who Can Hold Space For You
Not everyone can be supportive, even if they care deeply for you. Consider the people who show up and make it easy to be you. No performances or faking it because men are supposed to be strong and asking for help is seen as weak. Silence and isolation breed more pain. You must connect with yourself and folks that are supportive of you.
Connect With Things That Bring You Joy Or Energy
It may be difficult or even feel impossible, but if you have the capacity…I recommend you write affirmations about your identity, capability, and worth defined by YOU. Listen to music that feeds your soul and watch media that energizes you rather than drains you. Become involved in things that promote positive and nuanced identities of black folks.
Ask Yourself What You Want And Need Right Now, And Then Advocate For It
Do you need a break from work? Can you ask for time off or an adjustable schedule?
Understand what you need from folks around you and make sure you communicate it.
Seek therapy, even when you feel that there isn't anything wrong. I know for some it's a taboo subject. Therapy is one of the best ways to address personal or racial trauma.
Allow Yourself To Feel Your Emotions And Attend To Your Physical Needs
Whether you are experiencing anguish or rage, allow yourself to sit in those very uncomfortable spaces and release those feelings instead of stuffing them down. This also means paying attention to your body. Do you need to go for a walk? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you dehydrated? Are you holding pain somewhere physically that needs to be released?
Transform Feelings Of Hopelessness To Advocacy
Engage in your spiritual practice as it will help you draw a deeper meaning from life. Give, few things feel as good as giving without the expectation of receiving anything in return.
Be intentional about creating a better you. Go to the doctor so you can learn how to best improve your health. Many Black men age poorly and die earlier because they do not go to the doctor until it's too late.
Create Boundaries For Yourself Of What Works Specifically For YOU
Don’t forget to rest, breathe, drink water, and explore your needs. Consider connecting with powerful black art, media, and music that showcase a different narrative of our stories and strengths.
Practice forgiveness, forgive, and let go. It helps lower stress, your blood pressure, and improve your mental health.
Do, go have fun, and don't put off what you can do today for tomorrow.
Don't be afraid to learn new things or new ways of doing the same thing.
Never allow society to dictate who you are, what you should be like, and how you should behave.
